Last year, at four months post-partum with my fourth child, I returned to college. I took a semester off back in 2014 when I was still a single, working mom. It was to marry my husband. Soon children followed and love swept me away. Life at home opened me up to a deeper spirituality, homeschooling sparked a renewed love of learning and in 2024, I went back to school myself.
An Academic Faith-
When I was engaged to be married is when I really started to learn about the Catholic faith I had been born into. After having my first child young, I had a Baptist then non-denominational stint. It’s been said that the Church is a good psychologist and I wholeheartedly agree. Thanks to the sacraments, established by Jesus, I raised my daughter in the Church. Even when I denied my faith, I baptized her out of culture and a sense of familial duty. Perhaps the seeds of my youth were sprouting curious tendrils even then.
As she grew, so did my curiosity. I couldn’t just raise her in a faith I didn’t agree with. At first I tried to straddle two schools of thought but, my questioning led me, as it does so many converts and re-verts, to the truth, beauty and goodness of the Church. I re-catechized myself, leaning on the formation I had received in childhood (all the way to confirmation).
It was like the gospel was the best cup of coffee in the world. Inviting, invigorating, bitter and sweet. I’d been so invested in the substance I missed all that accompanied it. The Church was like the finest China in which the coffee was contained. Not only was there a cup, but a saucer, a teaspoon, a bowl of sugar and cloth napkins. I began to see that what I thought of as “extras” were actually part of one big, heavenly tablescape. Of course, even the most beautiful place setting, like the Church without Jesus, would be meaningless.
Writing & What it Taught Me-
Writing has always been my passion. Even in my medical career, I’d write poems and thoughts on notepads with the office letterhead. Being home gave me the opportunity to really pursue it and when I was pregnant with my son is when I took my writing public with my blog. I never intended to be a Catholic writer but my faith was such a part of me by then. When writing about motherhood and womanhood, I couldn’t help but refer to it, and the person of Jesus whom I had come to love.
I always felt a great responsibility, writing about God. That encouraged me to go beyond my feelings, fact checking and researching to explain and back up my lived experiences. I always say that I only know so many answers because I’ve asked so many questions and my ignorance has revealed more about the reality of God’s truth than my knowledge ever has. Facing forward to the world as a writer forced me to know and define myself and my beliefs and solidified my faith, in second bloom.
Christianity is an academic faith. We’re all students of our Rabbi, Jesus Christ. We’re encouraged to examine the scriptures to testify and make disciples. Catholicism is endlessly deep, with innumerable rites, encyclicals, spiritual works, historical accounts, documents, paintings, songs, sculptures, saints, and testimonies of Christendom from its very inception. As believers we should be constantly striving in the knowledge and likeness of our Savior.
Let devotion accompany all your studies, and study less to make yourself learned than to become a saint.
Saint Vincent Ferrer
A Spark of Love, Sparked Love of Learning-
I began homeschooling out of necessity in the Fall of 2021. My oldest daughter was struggling to the point that traditional schooling wasn’t feasible. I was nervous and juggling her siblings, but grateful to be home and present to help. Before I knew it, the middles were school-aged themselves. We started K for one but didn’t make it through the year. It wasn’t only mask mandates on 5 yar olds that made me uncomfortable, but the negative impact public school had on our oldest daughter. Upon entrance, the school was impressed with my child’s ability to read but the work that came back was mostly busy work and didn’t challenge or enrich that natural intelligence.
Well, I was home anyway, and the world was becoming increasingly terrifying to send my children into. We decided that year to homeschool and have never looked back. My middles started in first and pre-k and we got involved in co-ops and playgroups. We chose a classic curriculum, Mother of Divine Grace, which we still use to this day. It is well rounded, faith-based and takes the pressure off of planning curricula myself. I soon realized that they were getting a much better education with me, in so many ways.
Like anything, I became more comfortable teaching my children over time and fell in love with the homeschool lifestyle and community. We learned to balance life, education, catechism and extracurricular activities like football and cheer. Our kids have friends, socialization, triumphs and challenges, like any schooled child but confidence, innocence and family bond which could only have been cultivated at home.
Going Back-
Life went on and we welcomed another baby. Having taken a break from writing and my apostolate, I decided to return to college. I wanted to earn an early childhood education degree which would allow me to teach ages 0-8.
Homeschooling had opened my eyes to what education could look like outside of the bounds of a traditional classroom setting. I thought I would become a Montessori teacher, start a co-op or maybe even end up in a private school.
With 3 kids to teach and an exclusively breastfeeding four-month-old, I became a full-time student. Thankfully, the first semester was fully distance learning. That helped me get used to managing assignments and coursework in the midst of large family life. I remember looking up how far I could take such an educational path, a Masters of Education.
Earning Accolades–
Learning about early childhood and human development was fascinating through my newly-polished Catholic lens. I had a living, cooing subject in my sweet little baby.
Typing papers while nursing was second nature after years of blogging with babies. The honing of my writing craft served me well and resulted in honors and accolades, something you don’t get much of (aside from hugs and kisses!) as a stay-at-home mom.
The child psychology classes drew me in the most. I loved the idea of helping people understand children as whole individuals worthy of guidance and grace. Learning the importance of environment, transitions and emotional management reinforced what the school of motherhood had taught.
It made me a better mom, homeschooler and person. We all start out as children and the early years impact our futures more than we may know. It became clear to me that child psychology is the psychology of us all.
I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.
William Carey
Changing Course–
For years I said I never wanted to study anything besides theology at such a level. I’d knew spirituality was the most important pursuit in life. Unfortunately, the free community college program I entered, did not cover such favored subjects. Still I was happy to be a studying the human mind, God’s creatures and creations with a Catholic worldview.
I was nearly done with my associates degree when my oldest daughter felt ill. I saved my semester and my straight A’s by finishing my finals on extension by her bedside. After that I was to enter a practicum at a preschool, one of the last requirements I needed to graduate next Spring. That meant, I would have long days away from home and another bump in the road made me suddenly unsure.
I planned to continue my education after anyway and upon further introspection, I realized that my interest in psychology superseded my desire to teach. During this time I had been praying for discernment of the direction of my life and how God wanted me to use my talents. it wasn’t an easy decision, but I switched majors taking on a full course load again to stay on track for graduation.
I plan to transfer to a university after that  to earn my Masters, get licensed and eventually become a PhD.
An Unpopular Opinion-
This may be an unpopular opinion for a college student to hold, but if you can read, you can be educated. The classes and exams, the hoops you jump through, the pomp and circumstance just exist to formally prove it to the world. I am no more intelligent than I was before going back to school, but I am becoming specialized in certain areas of knowledge.
The most important part of my future practice I’m not learning in a class. I learned it as a burnt out mother to two small children and a daughter whose mental health was interfering with her life. I was terrified and desperate for help as we dealt with misdiagnosis, waiting lists, fought for IEP’s and pushed back against medication trials.
I pray that the motivation to help others, so deeply rooted in my soul, and the experience of being on the other end of the couch will allow me to practice with empathy, understanding and dignity for everyone involved.
Forever learning-
If I ever stop learning, I hope it’s because I am ready to go Heaven. There’s still so much I want to do; write novels, paint landscapes, try Pilates, maybe even join a lay-religious order one day! The Word says that God is not done perfecting us until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)
Until that day comes, I will always keep pushing to be the best possible version of myself, in order to make as positive an impact as possible with the time that I have in this world. No matter where life takes me, I will do my best to help others to know that there is an Eternal Love that burns, to light their way into the next.
Never stop learning!
🤍 Cait
Prayers Over The Kitchen Sink 